Dating is a phase in courtship. It's not easy, but it is said to be a rather memorable experience. Lots of written work has already been published regarding the Do's and Don'ts of dating, whether from psychologists with the highest academic degrees, of from writers who simply know the ways of dating. It makes you wonder though, of all the tips, which one does work anyway? And which one doesn't? This article is my own take to the hundreds of tips that I have read on dating.
I am in my twenties, and yes, I have dated, so I do know if those "tips" do work. One thing I can tell you is, if all dating tips could be summarized to ten, then the first half would only be made of tips to actually prepare yourself to date, and not the dating as a verb itself. So that is what this top 10 list will compose. Five tried tips to prepare yourself, and the other 5 to get yourself through the "dating" game.
1. Get to know yourself. This is a definite must. How on earth would you introduce your being to another if you yourself are unsure of who you are? Besides, knowing yourself before venturing into dating will narrow your "misses" and increase your "hits" since you already can assess the type of man or woman you want to be with.
2. Be financially able. This is still a must in the preparation stage, even if you are a woman. You have to be financially able because this is a plus to men. This also avoids being too dependent on the guys. And, it adds to self-confidence. For men, why be financially able? Well, why do you think? Even if this is the 21st century, men will always remain (etiquette-wise) in charge of the bill.
3. Keep yourself attractive. Does this need more explaining? Hmm.. Maybe a little. Keeping yourself attractive will send signals that you are ready for dating and are a good catch. You don't need designer clothes, plastic surgery or liposuction; you just have to be neat all the time. And by neat I don't mean just cleanliness, I mean wearing clothes that fit and flatter, wearing just the right hues of make up for women, and smelling good all the time.
4. Keep your values, habits and attitudes in check. This is another self- evaluation tip. Ask a close friend to tell you what he or she thinks about your whole perspective in life. Maintain those that will attract the right people, and start refraining from those that will cause you trouble. Don't worry about staying unique, as you will always be, without exerting effort.
5. Be a good friend. Consider everybody as friends. Don't match yourself to someone at once. Remember, friendship is the foundation of a lasting relationship. When the feeling of "love" fades, it is the intimacy and honesty of friendship that will keep the two of you intact.
So here goes the survival tip when you are already "in" the dating phase.
6. Keep eye-contact. Not the stalker type of eye contact (which is really considered staring). Eye contact lets your date know that you are interested with him or her, and that during your date, your focus of attention is your partner.
7. Learn how to keep the conversation rolling. For first, second or third dates, keep conversations light and happy. You don't need to tell your dark pasts or your deep problems right away. Just the basics, remember, you are still trying to establish the match, and the intimacy.
8. Be as much as possible honest. But don't give away all your details if you just picked your date out of nowhere. Being honest spares you the worry on having your partner find out about your lies when both of you have moved a step higher in the dating phase.
9. Women, don't demand too much attention. Men, don't be too possessive. Allow space so either of you can determine what they feel if the other is around and if they are not around. All relationships need enough space.
10. Take your date to places where both of you can talk. Occasionally go to the movies, but don't make it a staple for your dates. Try a romantic sunset stroll on the beach or in the park. This allows more conversational situations to arise. It also relieves both your stress after a long day's work.
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